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Texts 4 · 2017 · 3

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143. Two hours

For some days now, the moment when I came back to my work again, after the influences in 1975, has stood still in my mind. All the time I have remembered that I was taken up with how much the time was. I was upset by that I had lost so much of my working time. I was also upset by that I hadn’t reached the first meal break, where I had looked forward to meet some of the other electricians, at the café where we had the first meal break at that time.

I have thought about what the time was. I remember that I thought about, that the time was near to ten. When I try to remember how much the clock was; I get thoughts about 9:40 AM, and 9:50 AM, 9:30 AM is also in my thoughts. First, I think that 9:40 AM can be correct. After that, I think that 9:50 AM can be a little more correct. I can’t be sure about that time, but I think that time is almost correct, or near to correct. I have been thinking about what the time was, for some days now, and I end up with that 9:50 AM is the most likely. I am pretty sure about that the time was something before ten o’clock, and not something after nine o’clock.

When I think about, when I started at my work that day, Monday, December 29, 1975; I remember that I thought about, that it was possible for me to come into the building at 7:45 AM. I think I went into the building at 7:45 AM, I was at my workplace circa 7:50 AM, and the person came and asked me to come with him at once I was at the place where I worked.

This will be; that the person came and asked me to come with him circa 7:50 AM. I was back at my work again circa 9:50 AM.

I was taken up with that I had to work in my meal breaks, to take back the time I had lost. I also think that all of this disappeared out of my memory, more and more, hour by hour.

When I first came back to my work again, I remember that I was confused. I started to concentrate on my work immediately.

I think about that the plan was, that the criminals had planned to take me away from my work for two hours. And that they had influenced me to work all my first meal breaks these days, when I worked alone. If some of the others at the café had wanted to find out about what had happened with me, then they had started to do that some of the days after the first day, which was this Monday. I don’t remember that some of the other people in the company where I worked, contacted me these days, when I worked alone. I remember that I had done much work; when the person I worked together with, and the contact in the company, came back again. I had been taken up with my work.

I also remember that I in the last part of the influences, thought: “Where am I.” When I heard the people in the room talk, I understood where I was. I also thought: “These people are doing something in the society, which they hide.”

April 11, 2017, David H. Hegg

144. It became as nothing

After the previous text, “143. Two hours,” April 11; I have thought about that the time this situation lasted, (where I was influenced,) is influenced to become less and less. I have thought about, that it is like, that this time is shortened more and more. I think this situation was reduced to fast become unimportant. I think the time this lasted, fast was reduced to become a few minutes.

I have also wondered if this situation lasted until almost 10 AM, Monday, December 29, 1975. Maybe it was until a couple of minutes before ten.

I have also asked myself, if it could have been until five minutes past ten. But that is only something I have asked myself about. I haven’t had any memory about that.

I have also had some thoughts about that the person, who influenced me, said, when he thought, that I was sleeping: “At least it has go two hours, before that, he can’t stand on his feet.” But I wonder if this is because I have started to think about two hours. It can also be that I have started to think about two hours, because the person said this, that is what I end up with regarding this, now in the end. If this is correct, then the last part should have been, that I was influenced to sleep, after all the influences were finished.

When the person I worked together with, and the contact in the company, came back; I remember that I said, that it only had been, that someone came and asked me to come and look at something, but when I came there, some others had put it in order. Therefor this was nothing to write on a new order number, I said. It only took a few minutes, we only talked a little, I said.

After that again, I forgot it. I also forgot that I had worked the week between Christmas and New Year’s Eve. Later, I took some days off in the week between Christmas and New Year’s Eve, and I started to think that I always had done that.

After some time, this situation fast had become as nothing.

When I now have thought about this for some days, I remember it as if, that when I came back to my work, then I didn’t think about what just had happened. I didn’t think about what just had happened at all. I only became very much taken up with my work. I continued with only concentrating very much on my work.

When I first came to my work that morning, I also only cared about doing my work very well, when I worked alone.

It also is as if, that when the two others came back, then this situation where some had asked me to look at something with the electrical installation, had been as only some few unimportant minutes. I wonder if the person who influenced me, became taken up with that I shouldn’t get another order number. I had had to contact the company where I was employed, if I should got another order number.

I also wonder if the person who influenced me, influenced me to what I should say, when the two others came back. It is also possible that I am influenced to only think, that I have said this. But I remember it as if I said, that someone had asked me to look at something, but that it was nothing; we only talked a few minutes, and that was all.

I also remember that the contact in the company, later said to me, that the customer was satisfied with the work I had done.

All of these are faint and not clear. But it is something. Something that is faint and not clear, can be the most important to find out correct about. But to find out correct about something that is faint and not clear, that is difficult. But when it is something, then it is necessary to start to find out more. I can only find out about some few things. It can also be, that I have made some mistakes.

For me, this has been that I have had to do different things, to be able to call up these things in my mind. I have had to bring myself back to this space of time again, I have done different things to achieve that. I have had to combine different information, which have done it possible for me to begin to understand what this can be, etc. I have had to find out and understand about it, in such ways; and when I have found out and understood something, I also have started to remember something. It has been an interplay between understanding, finding out, and remembering.

It hasn’t been possible to believe in my own feelings. For example, I felt that I couldn’t write this text. But I didn’t follow that feeling, and I wrote much more than I first had thought about to do today.

It all becomes more and more crisp and clean for me, but this isn’t easy for me to remember and find out about. The whole picture about this, has become more and more clear for me.

Something that is faint and not clear, that is something; it isn’t nothing.

It has been possible for me to understand much about what the criminals have done against me, even I haven’t remembered what it was. That has helped much in different ways.

It is important to hold on to what is normal, one’s job and such things. It is important not to begin to mess up one’s life. If it becomes difficult to deal with this; it helps to start concentrating on doing something easy, and not thinking about this for some time. It is important to stay calm.

For me, all the effects from these influences have become less and less as the time goes by. Today it is almost nothing left of these effects, although I don’t know what the person who influenced me has done, to cause these effects. It has helped to understand about it.

Among different things; I think the criminals have influenced to that we shall not understand about common responsibility and common possibilities. I also think they want that each of us only shall care about oneself and one’s own, and not understand about how our common situation slowly develops against all of us. In addition to that, the criminals also influence to explosive feelings of anger and hate, which get oneself to understand one‐sided, narrow‐minded and wrong. By influencing different people in systematic opposite ways, these explosive feelings become much worse.

When we all have our common good in mind, we all got a good society and a good world. Sometimes all can help one. Sometimes one can help all. I think that we humans shall win to be developed humans. We shall not win by destroying one another. We all shall win by developing ourselves together, we are both individuals and fellowship. We shall win by developing ourselves, both together and in individual different ways.

I think the criminals want to ruin our ability to see the connections between different things, and to make it impossible for us to see things from all angles. They want us all to be unable to behave for our common good.

There aren’t different sorts of humans. But of course we are in different ways. There are only one sort of humans, and that is humankind. We all can understand one another.

It is even possible for us humans to start to repair, what humans before us have ruined on the planet we all live on together.

The criminals want the bad to look as if it is good, and the good to look as if it is bad. They want to develop a wrong understanding about right and wrong. They want to develop bad rights, instead of good rights. The criminals are evil swindlers, who swindle the whole world.

From the beginning of the influences in 1975, I remember that the person who influenced me, said: “The malice follows our banners to victory.” I have thought much about why I remember this. The person didn’t want to inform me about what they are doing, therefore it wasn’t that he wanted to do. I don’t remember what the person said before and after this. Now I think that this maybe has to do with something he wanted to do in the end of the influences. I think that this maybe should have made a whole of all the influences. I think about that this maybe should have influenced me to believe in, that the malice follows our banners to victory, as something I in the end believed in doing. But this is only something I think. Maybe that last part was something he didn’t do, because he thought that I had fall asleep. This is only something I think.

I also think about, that some of the influences, are about that I should find out about a story he only had made up. It can be different things, he thought about by saying that. It can also be that I in the end should have become evil, by trying to fight something evil. It can be that it all in the course of many years, should have ended by being, that I in the end became evil myself, by first being kind and trying to fight something evil. I should have been evil together with an evil God that this person had influenced me to believe, that had contacted me. This evil God the person had made up, should have become evil against the people in this story, which the person only had made up. This story should have been about something, which I should have believed, that was some real people in the world. It all should only have been something wrong.

I don’t know exactly what he wanted by saying this. I only get different thoughts about it. I also think; that this is what ten o’clock December 29, 1975, had become as nothing; something it took about two hours to do.

The only evil enemy we all have, are these evil criminals. These criminals are some people we must find out about and understand about. They are tricking us all.

Something I sometimes have understood about these influences; is that first I shall laugh, be angry, and play down; about something I in the end should have started to do or be myself. The first part, when you laugh etc., is that the influence has started its first step; it has started to get control over what you have started to think and do. After that, different following steps gradually turn around one’s own behavior, to be the opposite of what it was in the beginning.

Why has this happened to me; that these influences against me failed? I think that we humans are different. It can also be that he tried to do too much. We don’t know all about what a human is. The person who influenced me, didn’t know all about what humans are, and he didn’t know all about what I am. Nor I know all about what humans are, and I don’t know all about what I am.

This text has come to something, as I have written it. It is like the first draft for a text. I have understood about this as I have written about it. Some of the contents are things I first started to understand today, now when I was writing this text.

April 12, 2017, David H. Hegg

145. The malice

After the previous text, “144. It became as nothing”, April 12; I remembered that the person, who influenced me in 1975, said this in the beginning of the influences:

“The malice follows our banners. And the malice has always given us victory. That become, that the malice follows our banners to victory. That shall also be what here has to happen, that in the end our malice gains a victory over you here. In the end here today, the malice has become your banner mark.”

April 13, 2017, David H. Hegg

146. The banners

In the previous text, “145. The malice”, April 13; where I wrote about what I remembered from the beginning of the influences in 1975, the first sentence was “The malice follows our banners“. This is a paraphrase of the refrain from a famous Norwegian labor song, called “Seiren følger våre faner” (The victory follows our banners). The song is from a labor movie called “By og land hand i hand” (Town and country hand in hand) from 1937. The lyrics is by Arne Paasche Aasen 1901 ‐ 1978, a famous Norwegian poet. Arne Paasche Aasen’s texts are typical for the Norwegian working‐class culture. Many of them describe the daily life of ordinary people; their life, thoughts and feelings. This song is a song that gives words, to that people shall achieve political improvements. There are some such songs, but this cultural movement was characterize of a broadly range of varying contents, which described all sides of ordinary people’s life.

I think about that when this song was written, the criminals could have been doing something for many years. I don’t know when they started with their influences, but I think about that it can be before the First World War 1914 ‐ 1918. If my supposition is correct, which I think it is, then these criminals could have influenced to many things already in 1937.

Below I have translated the text. I have tried to quote the contents, and not written a new poem. Some Norwegian words don’t have the same words in English, therefore I also have had to rewrite a little. But the contents is fairly identical to the original.

The victory follows our banners

The victory follows our banners
forward through storms and fights,
lift them high in strong hands
over our time which is hard as iron.
It is ancestors precious heritage,
they came loyal along
where the toil’s men and women
for their freedom fought.
They gave strength and go‐ahead spirit
when we went to battle:
The victory follows our banners!
Workpeople, unite with one another!

The victory follows our banners!
The battle horn booms out afresh.
Now the future people once more
gather from cluster of farms and from town:
The men from harrow and plow,
workshop and office,
women from houses and cottages
‐ people from mountain and fiord.
The whole people are on the march
forward toward new battles.
The victory follows our banners!
Workpeople, unite with one another!

The victory follows our banners!
Listen to the jubilant song!
See the people’s parade that interprets
the work’s creative urge.
Carry toward peace and freedom forward
red banners’ fire ‐
we go out today and protect
the people’s fatherland.
Man and woman – be on guard,
ready for the battle’s day.
The victory follows our banners!
Workpeople, unite with one another!

Lyrics: Arne Paasche Aasen 1901 – 1978
Music: Jolly Kramer‐Johansen 1902 – 1968
From the movie: “By og land hand i hand” 1937
(Town and country hand in hand)
Director: Olav Dalgard 1898 ‐ 1980

April 14, 2017, David H. Hegg

147. Hand in hand

After the previous text “146. The banners” April 14, where I wrote about the Norwegian movie “By og land hand i hand” (Town and country hand in hand) from 1937; I started to think about a Swedish song from 1967, “Vi ska gå hand i hand” (We shall walk hand in hand). Both these titles have the words “hand in hand”. The movie from 1937 is about the labor movement, the song from 1967 is about a marriage.

Immediately I think; that the criminals can have influenced to a movie about the labor movement, which they want to ruin; and they can have influenced to a song about the marriage, which they also want to ruin. The movie from 1937 is mad by the labor movement, and the director, the poet, the musician, and the actors; are attached to the labor movement. They who mad the song from 1967, are individual people.

I think there is something or other here. The criminals want to ruin the labor movement and the workers’ political development; and they want to ruin the marriage and the families.

I also think about that the criminals have wanted to influence all kinds of cultural activities. They have wanted to influence the people away from organized political activity. And they have wanted to influence the people to only care about oneself and one’s own, and not understand about how our common situation slowly develops against all of us; as I wrote about in the text “144. It became as nothing” April 12, under the third dividing dot.

I think the criminals have influenced all sides of our societies, in ways we don’t understand immediately. That is because we haven’t thought about something like this. We all are victims of these influences in different ways. It isn’t only the labor movement these criminals have ruined, they have ruined everything. And that is also the situation, these criminals have ruined for all kinds of different social groups and people. I think this has been in progress for a very long time now.

These influences have caused different genres and styles, which has changed as time goes by. Artists have always been influenced by genres and styles. What is special with this, is how the criminals hide how they influence cultural activities.

This text is only a few fast words, which occurred to me just now. Below I have translate the text from the Swedish song “Vi ska gå hand i hand” to English.

We shall walk hand in hand

Do you still remember how it was
when we met you and I?
You was everything for me
because I saw only you.
And I felt at once
it is you I want to have.
And I still remember the words
I said:

We shall walk hand in hand
through the life you and I.
Although it happens at times
that we become sad someday.
We shall comfort each other.
That is how it shall be.
We shall walk hand in hand, you and I.

I can see still today
how we walked there you and I.
Upwards the altar’s aisle
and with organ peal and song.
When we get married and the clergyman blessed us two.
I can remember what I
thought then.

We shall walk hand in hand
through the life you and I.
Although it happens at times
that we become sad someday.
We shall comfort each other.
That is how it shall be.
We shall walk hand in hand, you and I.

After the years that have went by
I have learnt and understood.
That where the happiness shall live
it is love, hope and belief.
Because we love each other
and have it so good.
And I follow the words I said:

We shall walk hand in hand
through the life you and I.
Although it happens at times
that we become sad someday.
We shall comfort each other.
That is how it shall be.
We shall walk hand in hand, you and I.
We shall walk hand in hand, you and I.

Recorded in Swedish by:
Gunnar Wiklund, 1967 (1935 – 1989)
Swedish lyrics:
Bengt Sundström, 1966 (1938 – 1994)

Original title: “Dunja, du”
Recorded in German by:
Ronny (Wolfgang Roloff), 1966
Originally written by:
Wolfgang Roloff (1930 – 2011) and Hans Hee (1924 – 2009)

April 15, 2017, David H. Hegg

148. Combination

To find out a little about how these influences were done against me, I have combined understanding, facts and memory. The problem has been that I have been influenced to not to remember this. It has taken many years. For me this combination has worked, I found some things to go on, and after that, I slowly found out a little. Below I have made a schematic picture of this combination.

April 16, 2017, David H. Hegg

149. The world

After the text “147. Hand in hand” April 15, where I wrote about the song “Vi ska gå hand i hand” (We shall walk hand in hand), I have had the title on the B side of this single in my thoughts, “Jag ser en värld” (I see a world). The A side is dated 1967, the B side is dated 1968. The last words in the song on the B side, are “I see my world.”

How the song “Jag ser en värld” (I see a world) is about the world, has got me to think about how the criminals also can have wanted to change people’s view on the world, to be something a person do alone, by thinking about oneself and one’s own. I write this, because I think the criminals have wanted to influence people to think as individuals, instead of as fellowships. Of course we are both individuals and fellowships. I think about that the criminals want to ruin how we can think as fellowships, when that is the best for us to do, to realize our interests. We must have good fellowships, to be able to have good individual lives. We must also have good politics, to be able to have good societies. A good society depends on an interaction between different human activities in the society. A society must be alive in a good way. A society develops because of the humans.

These two songs have got me to think in this way. I don’t know what the criminals have done to influence our cultural life. But I think it is likely that they have wanted to influence how the cultural life gives expression to people’s thoughts and feelings. And I have started to think about that, because of these two songs.

After thinking about this for some days, I now also write a translation of this song. These two songs are only two examples for what I think about. Sweden and Norway are neighboring countries. Our languages aren’t exactly similar, but there are small differences, and we easily understand each other. Songs that become popular in Sweden, also typical become popular in Norway. Cultural workers from Sweden and Norway easily work together, and there are a great deal of coexistence between Sweden and Norway.

I see a world

One day can be gray
although the sky still is blue.
Just then I can see
my life, as it is.

I see a world like in dreams’ haze,
it is empty wherever I see.
I see a world in my own way,
and wonder still about everything which I see.

But what I feel, shall always exist.
Above everything on earth, I stand without words like in haze.
I see a world.

A day which we remember,
can be light as a cloud.
A day to get to see,
to have, to maybe get to give.

I see a world take a new shape,
when my dream now is over.
I see a world that you give me,
just the life that I missed and longed to get.

A wonder that always gives the future light.
Every day that moves on, comes to long years,
and I see, I see my world.

Gunnar Wiklund, 1968 (1935 – 1989)
Written by: Marcus Österdahl (born 1943)
and Bengt Sundström (1938 – 1994)

April 19, 2017, David H. Hegg

150. Turned upside down

I think about how I have experienced, that I must remember something, before an influence can influence me to forget it. I think about that the criminals use this systematic method in different ways. For example, I must want to do something, before an influence can influence me not to want to do it. And the opposite, I must want to not to do something, before an influence can influence me to want to do it. This is that influences in this way, first start with influencing oneself to the opposite, before following influences continue to turn it around to what it is meant to be. This is only a few words about this systematism. Influences are in different ways, so this is only a focus on this particular way.

By understanding about this, it becomes possible to strengthen one’s counter‐reaction against this systematism. By doing that, it becomes more and more possible to do that.

For example, an particular thing I understood that I forgot in this way, I wrote down, and continue to remember it again and again, much more that I normally had had to do, and that worked.

After that, I think about that the political development around 1900, had a previous development of human understanding, which led to thoughts about human politics.

I think it is this fundamental understanding about human politics, which forms the basis of thoughts about new political ideas. This understanding about human politics, is what it all really is about. I think the criminals understand this, and hide how they ruin and remove this understanding about human politics.

The criminals see the whole picture about the development of new political understanding around 1900, and influence people to get a one‐sided understanding. Such a one‐sided understanding becomes that we don’t understand any longer. We don’t see the whole historical picture any longer. The criminals see this whole historical picture, and ruin it for us, in a way we less and less understand.

I think that human politics is an important concept, which is the most important for us to start to understand about again. It has been ruined all the time from the beginning, around 1900.

After the criminals started with their influences, we haven’t developed our thoughts and understanding. It is the opposite which has happened, we have started to understand less and less as we talk more and more about economic politics.

It is important to understand about human politics again. It is important to understand about how we can develop human politics. It is important to work together and cooperate internationally about human politics. Human politics is the most important politics, which we have to understand about and talk about to realize.

I think the criminals have influenced all the different known political ideas today, to not to understand about this fundamental understanding about human understanding and human politics. The criminals don’t want to have human politics, and they have influenced all the political ideas to work against one another. The original situation back in our history, wasn’t in that way. I think people wanted to find the way to agreement, before the criminals started with their influences. Today we all have become victims of this destructive disagreement between one another. Disagreement has become something negative, instead of something positive.

April 21, 2017, David H. Hegg

151. What we must do

What is dangerous, with what the criminals are doing, is the control they have, by the influences they have done. Therefore, the most important counteraction is to come out of the control by these influences.

These influences and this control have two functions, which are the first I think about. 1.) The influences influence people to feel, think, understand and behave; in controlled ways. 2.) The influences also influence people to not to feel, think, understand and behave; in ways that can change the influenced control. Therefore the influences both activate to do something, and to not to do something. By these two functions, the influences can influence us to do things, which we also are influenced to not to find out about how is wrong.

Because this has gone on for a long time, this trickery of all of us has been much. All the time it has been necessary that we haven’t understood about what this is. All the time we have been influenced to do something, which we don’t understand what is. This has one important aspect: When we now understand about this, then we have much to understand from.

When we start to understand what this is, then we also start to come out of this control by these influences.

When we start to come out of this control, then we start to understand how the criminals have played us off against one another. We can understand that this is ruining for us all, and that this, is what is dangerous for us all. We must come out of this control, by understanding about what these influences are. And we must find out about what the criminals have been doing. All the people in the world must start to work together in secrecy, against these criminals, and find out about them. That is what these criminals don’t want that we shall do. That is what we must do. We must stop doing what the criminals want; and start doing what they don’t want.

The control by these influences is what is dangerous for us all. The criminals don’t agree with any of us. They have only influenced all of us with different strategic tactical influences. The criminals aren’t a known interest group, they are an unknown interest group. We haven’t known about them; but now we do. I think they are the worst ever. They are very sly; but they aren’t strong.

I never blame people for what the criminals have influenced them to do, because I know how the criminals have influenced myself to do things, which I never had wanted to do. This is in short, that the influences have created a wrong picture inside oneself, about what something is. And the wrong picture also lakes knowledge of what it really is. We all are influenced to ruin for ourselves. The criminals influence people to think they are doing right, when they are doing wrong. It is important to come out of this control, by understanding about what the criminals are doing.

April 27, 2017, David H. Hegg

152. Development of things

These influences have different typical systematic ways of being. One of these typical ways, is that things become more and more. It starts with something small, and develops step by step, to more and more. Typical this also turns over to something different, which also typical can be as opposed to what it started as. This systematic way of being more and more, can continue in an unstoppable way.

Such a systematic way of influences, can also typical work the other way round. That is, that things become less and less. It starts with something much, and develops step by step, to less and less. This can also change to something else, or become as nothing.

I often think about that these influences typical are built on different systematic ways, which it will be useful to find out about and understand. It was an impulse that first got me to think about this in connection with cars. I thought about that the criminals could have influenced to, that cars shall be more and more in different ways. Of course people had been interested in cars in any case, but when the criminals influence regarding that, then this changes to something else. Maybe it only is necessary to use a couple of minutes, to do such influences regarding cars and different other things. One intention with such influences, is to divert people’s attention away from something else.

This example with cars, is only a little piece I focus on, to bring to the fore this way of understanding about these influences. I think about that the criminals can have different such systematic ways they know about, understand and use.

I start to think about that cars become more and more, than only simple means of transport. Today cars have developed to be computers with four wheels. Have people asked for computers with four wheels? No; but when such things became available, then people started to buy them. People didn’t ask for computers either. But when computers became available, then people started to buy them.

In the beginning, people went to the shoemaker, to get new soles on theirs shoes, when they had walked for some time. Today people drive to the tire dealer, to buy new tires to their cars, when they have driven for some time. People didn’t ask for these changes, but they changed their way of life, when new products became available. The development of such new products, have brought the people with them. It could be other things, which also have brought the people with them. The criminals can have influenced to how the development of things, have changed our way of life, in ways which have changed in ways, that the criminals have wanted. This is what I generally think about, when I write this text. Cars are only an example.

If we think about that development of things, take control over us. And that the criminals influence how things shall develop. Then we can understand that the criminals can have done many things in this way. We have come under control of the development, and haven’t controlled the development.

All of this can have been many things, which have diverted us away from what we otherwise had done. In this text, I only bring this way of stating the problem into focus. This is only a few words, about a much more extensive topic.

I started to think about that this is something the criminals can influence to develop more and more, when they influence in such ways. Inventors have always invented new things, but when the criminals have started to use their influences on such things, then this becomes something to find out about and understand about. This topic is a part of the clearing up of what these criminals have done.

Cars become more and more other things, than simple means of transport. We have got personal cars, the same way as we have got personal computers. People drive cars in all directions, one by one. We also sit one by one with our computers. This leads to a disconnected social system. It brings us away from being a united and strong aware political power for the people’s interests. The people’s interests is a whole, it is parts of this whole, and it is parts of these parts etc. This is something people easily can understand about.

I think the criminals have influenced everything to develop in other ways, than it had been by itself. This is both regarding the single fields, and regarding the relations between them. Our situation today, is that we have to find out about this. In the beginning, no one of us know what this is. We have come under control of something we must find out about what is.

When we today think, that something is under our control; then that is under the control of these criminals, in a way we don’t understand. All of us are used by these criminals’ influences, in ways we don’t know about. We have to find out about what this is. We all must stop doing what these criminals want that we shall do in different ways. All these different ways, is one plan by the criminals.

It is important to understand that the criminals cause problems. We don’t solve problems by doing what they want. We solve problems by finding out about what this crime is; which in the beginning is something we don’t know what is. When we try to solve problems the way these criminals want, then we don’t solve problems, we only make more problems. This is about something it helps to find out about and understand.

I also want to add, that it seems clear, that the criminals don’t want peace, they influence us to make war against one another. Therefore, it is important that people get in touch with one another, even if we disagree with one another, and start to work together against these criminals. That is our only possibility.

May 3, 2017, David H. Hegg

153. 1962

Now I have got an understanding about my mother’s mother, who I have written about in the text “A sequence” from February 14, 2016, under the upper link on the website, “Important”. I also had this in my mind when I placed a photograph under the upper link “Messages”, “2015 ‐ 11” (Messages 11), in the text “Monday, July 27, 2015”. Monday, July 27, 2015; I hadn’t remembered enough correct about this. But the picture is correct. The picture is from the birthday party in 1962, together with my friend and another child in the neighborhood. They stand beside me when the photograph are photographed. Now I remember enough correct about this.

I have got an understanding about that my mother’s mother was under control of figuring things to herself. She had wrong ideas about different things, which wasn’t based on knowledge and understanding. These illusions were only fantasies without basis in the reality.

Something very important is that these episodes I write about here, only are a few glimpses from the time I had together with my mother’s mother. Together this all in all is a few minutes of this long period I had together with my mother’s mother. The time she talked about such things; is only a few minutes, of many years I was together with here. She didn’t talk about this again and again, and more and more. This was only a few isolated episodes. All her life she always was a very kind and helpful person to everyone around her. After I had written this text, I became sure about that it is such influences by the criminals, which have caused this in one way or another.

Such influences typical works in a way, which the influenced people don’t understand themselves. That is also how it was with my mother’s mother. She never wanted to do something bad against others. She always wanted to be kind to others. Something had happened with her, which she didn’t understand herself. I wonder if there can be general systematic influences, done against my mother’s mother, long before I first met her, but I don’t know.

For me, this got a catastrophic impact on me. But I didn’t understand about it, and forgot it immediately the same time as it happened. My mother’s mother didn’t talk about this as a person do, about something the person care about and want to talk more about etc. It was only some few short moments. What my mother’s mother showed interest for, were different things she liked to talk much about, year after year. What I write about here, was something she didn’t show that kind of interest for at all. It happened in some short moments, and disappeared again afterwards. It wasn’t these things she was taken up with at all. It was other things she showed interest for, and talked about again and again, year after year.

If the criminals hadn’t done what they are doing, then nothing of this had ever happened. There is clearly something suspicious with this, in relation to that.

These influences are something foreign in humans, something others have done by tricking them. When we have started to understand about this, then we can understand more and more about what this is. To give a figurative description, it can be possible to say; that if we don’t stop arguing as these criminals influence us to do, then we in the end can agree about, that everything has become something we don’t like. But then; the criminals have falsified everything, so we can’t find out about it and understand it. Today it still is possible to find out about this, and understand what the criminals have done and still are doing. The criminals want to have a hidden falsified control over the majority of the people around them.

In the summer 1962, when I was seven years old, something happened which ruined much for me. It has to do with my mother’s mother. Here I will write a shortened description about that. All the years since 1962 until quite recently, this has been 100% away in my conscious mind.

The first I remember about this, must has happened the summer before, in 1961. I have an image in my mind, where I am together with my parents by my mother’s mother at her mountain summer pasture. My mother’s mother ask questions about our neighbors’ political affiliations. Especially she asked about the father of one of my friends, which I had much to do with. My father answered. Both my mother’s mother and my father smiled and were glad; when they talked. My father said that the father of my friend was communist. My mother’s mother looked as if she had got to know something, which she had wanted to find out about, which she afterwards kept inside herself. My mother and I also smiled and were glad when we thought about our neighbors. There wasn’t talked more about this. This little glimpse is the only I remember about that.

My mother’s mother and my mother’s father lived on a small farm, a smallholding, with a mountain summer pasture, on the country in the Inland. There are some hours to travel between this place, and where I grew up in Oslo, the capital of Norway. My father came from a farm in the Western Norway, also some hours to travel from Oslo. In 1962, my mother was a full‐time housewife. She was taken up with different needlework, other handwork, and housework. She was interested in cultural traditions. Later; she worked with office work at two places, one after another. My father worked as a turner with a turning lathe, on a large shipbuilding yard in Oslo. He was interested in literature and music, he liked to do cabinetmaker work, and different other handwork.

My mother’s father had also worked at the same shipbuilding yard as my father, earlier in his life.

In Oslo, we lived in a housing cooperative with row houses. It was a do‐it‐yourself building association, which we had joined some years after it started. We bought another’s place. Our house was finished in 1960, before that my parents had been busy with building the house. All helped one another, and we children played with one another and had much fun in the building area. All were workers from the shipbuilding yard. All of them were our friends.

The workers were broadly speaking communists, socialists, and social democrats. Neither of them were strong opponents to such political ideas. In 1962, the communism in Norway was about human rights, justice and a classless society; and the communists worked for such goals although the society wasn’t a communist country. Communists were active, positive and loyal citizens. The communists were against wars. During the Second World War, many of the communists gave their lives for their fellow citizens’ freedom. My father talked about that to me. Many others, with all kinds of different political opinions, also gave their lives for their fellow citizens’ freedom. All these different people did the same thing; they gave their lives for their fellow citizens’ freedom.

I think the original social situation was varied. In the upper class people could be all kinds of different people; from the very best, to the very worst. Among the workers there also could be good and bad. It also was in the upper class that people started to think about that the society was unfair. I think that all the political active people understood about these differences, and that they wanted to get others around themselves, to understand what they were taken up with.

I have never thought that all the good people are at one place, and that all the bad people are at another place, I think that there are god and bad people everywhere. Regarding these political questions, I have some thoughts I have thought by myself: “People who don’t have what they need, are suffering. People who have more than they need, don’t have it better than people who only have what they need”. These few words are about how people for a long time, have thought about how it also is possible to suffer because of ignorance about how they live their life in a wrong way. Think about the novella “A Christmas Carol” 1843, by Charles Dickens 1812 – 1870. This novella is one of many other different writings, which is about such thoughts.

“The greatest happiness, is to make others happy”, are some old words of wisdom. It is also a great pain, to see that others are suffering. Politics isn’t about superficial solutions, it is about thorough and conscientious understanding. It takes much work, and it needs much time, to find out about good political solutions and political development. Democracy is that the people develop their understanding by themselves, and not that they let others tell them what they must think and do. But it is necessary to learn from others, and from one’s own experiences. Democracy is much about human development.

Of course the criminals didn’t like the good people in the upper class. Those people are their traitors, and I think they have treated such traitors very badly. The criminals have done bad things against all different people in the world.

Universal suffrage is in principle that the people get the political power. I think that is what the criminals don’t like. It is important that every citizen understands, that it is a great responsibility to have the political power. It is necessary to learn and understand enough by oneself. It is one’s own responsibility to do that, and it is necessary to follow with great attention what goes on in the society. It is one’s own responsibility to be responsible and find out what is true, not be superficial and let others tell oneself what is true, but to find out about it oneself. It is one’s own responsibility to understand correct. To find out about what is correct, isn’t about winning or losing; it is about being clever and to understand correctly.

My parents had family members and friends with all different political affiliations. My parents never said something negative about any of these different people and their political affiliations. My mother told me that all people with different political affiliations, wanted to do something good in different ways. My father was initially positive towards the communism as a peaceful movement, but he had started to think about how problems had arisen in communistic countries. Neither of my parents talked slightingly about the communists. My father didn’t say much about the communists, but if he did, he only said some fine words about them. Neither of my parents were active in any political party. At home there were many eager political discussions when we had visitors.

My mother said to me that I shouldn’t only think about, that I should have it good myself, I should also care about that the others around me have it good, not only myself. You are not allowed to be bad against others, she strictly said to me when I was a small child. To be bad against others, is the worst you can do, she said. She also said that I shouldn’t talk bad about others, who weren’t there, she thought about people we were together with and had something to do with. I was brought up to find out by myself what I should think and understand, not let others tell me what to think. What others said to me, could be untruthfully. My parents didn’t tell me what I should think. I should learn to think and understand by myself.

In 1962, I didn’t care at all about what kinds of political affiliations people had, I didn’t understand anything about it either. Today I think that the criminals can have influenced all these political ideas from the very beginning, to divide them, and get them to do things they never had done by themselves. I think the criminals can have influenced all other political ideas, the same way. It all is about connections between all these political ideas. I think the criminals have wanted to change the whole social situation, not only a single political group. I also think that these political problems didn’t start when these new political ideas started, the problems started a long time before that.

The question about ownership regarding organized working situations, are a question about ownership of power over people. It isn’t the same as owning one’s own house or one’s own farm, and the like. What ownership over other humans who work, is; and how organized working situations shall be arranged, is something it is important to understand about. I think the criminals have influenced to simplify this question, increased the disagreement about it, reduced the understanding about what this is, and messed up our thoughts about this. There are different aspects regarding this question. Such questions typical have connections with other kinds of questions. There are each topic one by one, and connections between these different topics. It is correct to say, that this is a complicated question. The criminals have taken control over how this shall be understood, in ways we don’t think about how are. Among other things, this has to do with meaning of life, what we make and buy, what we work with, how we work, why we work, what it is to work, etc.

It is possible to understand that the criminals have influenced our way of life, to be on a narrowed track forward, in a way we don’t have understood. Simultaneous the world becomes a horrible battlefield, where we don’t understand how the criminals want to take control over a world they ruin. People who own power over others, under control of the criminals, don’t have the power over themselves.

At my birthday June 8, 1962, I first had a small birthday party together with my friend, and another child from close by. The father of my friend did office work at the same shipbuilding yard where my father worked. Later that day, there came visitors from our family. Among different things, one of them gave me a real football of leather, which I could use together with my friends. He said to me that what is important with the football, is to get it into the goal. I became glad and taken up with the football, and took it with me to my friends in the neighborhood, where we played with it. The other children were in different ages, younger and older. One of the older had talked to me, about that I soon should start school, and then he could be together with me and show me how it was at the school. I thought that was kind of him to say, and I liked him. When I said that to my mother, she became glad. I was used to that all the people around me were kind and friendly, and I knew them all very well. We had known one another for many years.

A few days later, after June 8; my mother’s mother came, together with her youngest daughter, who still was a teenager. My mother’s mother had two daughters. Her first child, a son, died of pneumonia when he was a small child. At that time when he was alive, she, her husband, and another man; had a small company together, which helped people getting rid of bedbugs and the like. My mother’s mother did office work. The company did well. A domestic help took care of their son. When the Second World War started in 1940, they sold the company to the other person, and moved to the small farm, together with my mother. The farm belonged to her family. My mother’s sister was born during the Second World War.

There were years between when my mother’s mother visited us in Oslo. My mother’s mother was eager, and taken up with that I should be together with here at the mountain summer pasture, the whole summer until I should start school. First, she talked about that I should come away from my friends in the neighborhood. She said that there were many other detached house around us, and that I could find other friends there, after I had started school. She said that I could take the football with me to them, and smiled eagerly. My mother didn’t agree about that, and didn’t like it. Then she didn’t talk about that any more, and started to talk about how much fun my mother had had at the mountain summer pasture, when she was a child; and that I also could have much fun the same way, as she had had. My mother became glad when she was reminded about that. They talked about this the whole evening.

It continued with talk about how good it was to be at the mountain summer pasture. My mother’s mother had talked with some other of our relatives by phone, and they should soon be there, together with their children. She talked to my mother about how good it would be for me to be at the mountain summer pasture and play with them. These relatives had been at my birthday a few days before. It wasn’t them who gave me the football. I didn’t like any of this talk. But when I went to bed that night, my mother was glad and said to me that I had to travel to the mountain summer pasture together with her mother and her sister. Her sister smiled and was glad all the time.

I don’t remember how I came to the mountain summer pasture. The first I remember from the mountain summer pasture, is that I stood at the yard and looked in the direction of the train station. My mother’s mother asked me what I wanted. I said that I wanted to travel home. She said that was impossible. I said that I could walk to the train station by myself, and take the train home. She said that I didn’t have money to the train ticket. She hardened herself, and said that my parents needed to be given some peace from me. She talked in a way that got me to understand, that I bothered my parents by being together with them. I became sad, and didn’t want to be bad against my parents by bothering them and being a nuisance to them. I started to think that I had to give my parents some peace, to not to bother them.

I don’t remember what happened during the summer. In the evening she told me fairy tales which I liked to listen to. She joked about things and got me to laugh. I don’t remember anything about what happened there the first summers, and very little about what happened there the following summers. Every autumn she told my parents that I had had it so good at the mountain summer pasture. And my parents became glad. I had played with the other children around, and had much fun.

Just before my parents came to get me home, it was early the same day, just before I should start school; she talked to me about my friend and his father. She said that my friend wasn’t good for me to be together with. When you now come home, then you shall not be together with him anymore, she said to me. I said that she didn’t know him. She said that she had seen him, so she could understand that. (She had only caught a glimpse of him, and never talked with him.) His father is bad, she said. (She had never seen his father, and didn’t know anything about him.) I answered that his father is kind, and that she didn’t know his father. She said that she was an adult, and knew that, I had to listen to her who knew that. People like him should have been in prison, she said. people like him are terrible dangerous, she said. She said that such people want to take the factories from them who own them. It is them, who have done it all, she said. They will not let people own anything. We can’t own anything, if they get it to be as they want. No one around here agree with them, she said. I said that we owned our houses together. I thought about that my friend had said that, and when I said it to my mother; she said, that in a way, that is correct. My mother’s mother became hard, and said angry, what a nonsense. That isn’t true, she said. It is you who own your house, she said strict. They write many books, such people; she said. You shall never read some of those books, she said to me. After this, we didn’t talk more about this. I didn’t understand anything about what my mother’s mother had talked about. My parents had never talked about such things with me, and I didn’t talk about this with my parents afterwards either. I didn’t understand what my mother’s mother had talked about. It was only some incomprehensible messy babble for me, which disappeared as a mess in my thoughts.

When I came home, the first I did, was to run the fasted I could to my friend, to talk with him. I talked confused and disconnected about that his father was terrible dangerous, and that he should have been in prison. We don’t own our houses together, I desperately said. I said that he couldn’t be together with his father anymore, because he was so dangerous. My friend started to cry. He asked if it was my parents, who said that. I was confuse and in a shaken state. I didn’t understand anything about what I was talking about. Bewildered, I answered yes, without understanding anything at all. My friend cried, and went away from me.

I never talked to my parents about this. I didn’t understand anything about what happened either. When I after that, tried to get in contact with my friends again, neither of them wanted to be together with me anymore. One after one of them said different things about how bad I was, how evil I was, that no girls wanted to be together with me ever, when I talked to them, etc. When I came to them with the football, no one wanted to talk with me or have anything with me to do. Our neighbors didn’t want to be together with us anymore, they said veiled negative things to us, which my parents didn’t understand. My father now and then talked about how strange people around us had begun to be, they weren’t like that before, he said confused.

Our nearest neighbor beside us, who had been my father’s friend, moved away and didn’t have anything to do with us anymore. All the others, where my father worked, had been informed about what I had said.

At the school they had been informed about this, without our knowledge abut it, the same at every other school in the area. The city district administration must also has been informed the same way. Maybe higher authorities in the society also was informed. My parents did never understand what this was.

When I started school, I had been alone. First I felt as a stranger, after some time everything became mentally painful for me, but I didn’t understand anything about why. I became so thin that it was dangerous. The rest of my time at school developed this way. Every day I waited for that the school day should be over, and that the school one day should be finished, it was painful for me to be there. I didn’t understand myself and what had happened with my own life. I didn’t have a personal footing with belonging to a local environment any longer. When I started school, I didn’t have friends. I never talked about this with my parents or anybody else, I didn’t understand it.

The following Christmas we were together with my grandparents on my father’s side. They became shocked by seeing how thin I had been. They run to the shop, and bought a plate, a bowl, knife, fork, and tablespoon as Christmas present to me. They said that I didn’t get a teaspoon, because I should eat the dessert from the large bowl with the large tablespoon. The plate and the bowl were white, that was because I should care about the food and not about the plate and the bowl, they said. The cutlery had handles of wood, because they should be good to hold in my hand. Afterwards I liked to use these things, and became glad when I eat with them. I think this helped me to start to eat. I smiled and said that I should have dessert in the big bowl, and I got dessert in the big bowl. I started to like to eat rolled oats with milk and sugar, from the big bowl. I like that very much, and ate more than one bowl with that, and my mother said that I had to stop, because rolled oats swell in the stomach.

Someone also gave me a plate with a fairy tale picture on, from a Norwegian folk tale. “De tre bukkene Bruse som skulle gå til seters og gjøre seg fete”. (The three he‐goats Bruse that should walk to the mountain summer pasture to make themselves fat.) But I don’t remember who gave me that plate. I thought that plate was funny, and ate from that also. My mother said that I should care about the food, and not about the picture on the plate, and I did that. This fairy tale is about that on the way to the mountain summer pasture, they had to go over a bridge, and under the bridge, there lived a troll. The troll wanted to eat them when they went over the bridge. But the first small he‐goat said, that the troll should wait for the next, because he was much bigger than him. So said also the second middle‐sized he‐goat. When the third large he‐goat came, he was big and strong enough to butt the troll down in the river, when the troll came to eat him.

I also had a plate with a picture, from another fairy story play, called “When the Robbers Came to Cardamom Town” (Norwegian: Folk og røvere i Kardemomme by), written and illustrated by the Norwegian author Thorbjørn Egner.

I also remember the next year, when I came home from the mountain summer pasture in 1963, that I run to my friend again, to talk with him about that now we could walk together to the school. I knew that he should start school that year. He said to me that he shouldn’t start at the same school as me. We should walk our several ways, he said. We should not have anything to do with one another, he said. I went home and said to my mother, that we shouldn’t go at the same school, that we should go our several ways. My mother became sad and confused, and didn’t say anything. Maybe she said that then I had to go to the school without him.

My mother’s mother also talked repeatedly to me about that men with beard are dangerous. She never gave a reason for that, other than it was something dangerous with them. They shouldn’t had beard, she said. One time she talked about a man in our family who had beard. That he had beard, that wasn’t good, she said. I thought about that he was kind, and that he wasn’t dangerous, and I said that. My mother’s mother answered that maybe exactly he isn’t so dangerous. No, he isn’t dangerous, I said. Then we didn’t talk more such about him. Over the years, I started little by little to contradict my mother’s mother when she spoke in strange ways, about people and things I knew about, and then she listened to what I said. One time she talked about a communist in our family, she said that those people do so much bad. I answered that he is kind, and that he is very kind against me. Then she answered: “I hear that you say that.” Yes, I said, he is very kind. She answered: “Well, then we say that.” Then we didn’t talk more such about him.

We talked much more about all kinds of things in sensible ways, strange things were only a little now and then. We normally talked much about the local environment. That was also what my mother’s mother was taken up with together with others. It was about the nature, the wildlife, characteristic things with the terrain, and the neighbors around us. Now and then we visited the neighbors, and they visited us. It could also be, that the neighbors looked after the farm animals for one another, if one of them had something else to do a part of the day. We were much taken up with the farm animals; cows, goats and hens. My grandparents had a little smaller cows than normal, called “Dølaku”, because these cows were quick‐footed. The goats were trained to be together with the cows, from they were small. They went freely into the mountains. At the mountain summer pasture people lived and worked as a whole, in a way they had control over by themselves. Among different other things, we liked to play Yatzy, a game of dice with five or six dice. That was exciting and fun. We played a game of Yatzy quite often, it took a little time to finish one game. We could also stop in the middle of the game, and continue later.

Over the years, I became fond of being at the mountain summer pasture together with my mother’s mother and my friends there, in the summer. It was a small society where people organized their life as they wanted themselves, and they were good neighbors. My mother’s mother started to sell what people needed the most. She did it for fun, and to help her small community, she didn’t earn money from it. Different people came from every parts a few times every day, and her place became a popular center. People talked and became in good humor when they came to buy something.

Later my mother’s mother said that it was so terrible to see how thin I became, when we built the house. That wasn’t correct. It was after I had been together with here at the mountain summer pasture the summer 1962, that I became so thin.

Later my mother’s mother said that she was glad, that I didn’t have contact with my friend anymore. She looked empty and expressionless in her face. My mother looked sad. My father looked confused. I didn’t remember that I had had this friend, so I didn’t understand what she was talking about. Beyond that, I never heard that she talked more about these things again. I can’t remember that she talked about politics with my parents. She never talked about politics with me any more either. What was correct; was that I had had many friends, not only one, and that I had lost them all. I didn’t remember that either.

The only thing my parents said to me about my friend; was when my mother earlier said to me, that I should be kind to him, because he was younger than me. Because I was larger, I should be kind to him who was smaller than me, she said to me, when he and I were friends. Both my parents were kindly and glad; when they talked about the family of my friend, and the other neighbors around us. About my friend’s father, my father smiled friendly when he talked about him. My friend’s father worked at the office, he said, and my father worked at the engineering workshop; therefore they didn’t talk with each other at the job, he said. My parents never understood anything about what my mother’s mother had done. I didn’t remember anything about this friend. I haven’t understood anything about it, before I now have understood about it in a couple of years.

The general impression my mother’s mother gave, was that she was kind. She only had some strange and incomprehensible ideas. She was helpful and kind to all the people around her. She didn’t exclude people from family parties and the like, because of political affiliations. In the rural district where my mother’s mother and my mother’s father lived, people also cared about one another, and helped one another. My mother’s mother didn’t know anything at all about my friends and their families, and our contact with them, where I lived with my parents in Oslo. It was we; who often traveled to her and her husband. There were only a few times she visited us, and when she did, she never greet our neighbors.

My mother’s father was gentle and kind. I remember him as a person, who cared much about me, when I was a child. He did funny things together with me. We also had fun by working together on the farm. He never said a single bad word about my friends and their families in Oslo. I never heard he said a single bad word about anyone. When I was a small child, they had a horse at the farm, a light colored Norwegian pony (also called a Fjord horse). Every summer the horse had its summer vacation in the area around the mountain summer pasture. When we came with the train, my mother’s father always stood by the station, together with the horse and a cart, and waited for us. He smiled and became glad when he saw us, when we came out of the train and went down on the platform.

This is a short version about this. This has marked me afterwards, in a way I didn’t understand anything about myself, before now.

The criminals have influenced me in 1975, in a way that changed this to be something else. But I don’t know how they have done that. Before that, I didn’t think about this. The influences about this, started to work after 1986.

May 10, 2017, David H. Hegg

154. In the criminals’ heads

After the previous text, “153. 1962” May 10, I have understood what I think, that is exactly, what caused this catastrophic situation in 1962. When my mother’s mother talked to me, we walked on a little height in the terrain, on a dirt road in the direction of the small cottage, which we were so near that we could see it.

When my mother’s mother said, that I shouldn’t be together with my friend anymore, I became desperate and said that we were very good friends. I wouldn’t do as she said. I also said that his father was so kind. It is as if she answered, that I didn’t understand what his father was. She tried in different ways to persuade me, and became angry, because I didn’t want to do as she said. She talked more, and in stronger ways, about that his father is so dangerous. My friend and I are so good friends, I said. The conversation started in one way or another, to be about that it was his father, who was dangerous. It started to be something about that it was dangerous for my friend to have such a dangerous father, or something else in that way. This can also be because of my thoughts.

It is also; as it seems as natural in a way, and that I also remember this in a way; that I said that my mother had said to me, that I should be kind to him, because he was younger than me. (This can have been my thoughts, or it can have been talk.) Then I don’t remember exactly what my mother’s mother answered. But it was something which was about, that she wouldn’t give in. It can have resulted in something about that it was his father, who was dangerous, and not my friend. It is as she continued, but that I didn’t want to do as she said, and that she even so tried to influence me with talk. It could be, that it resulted in, that if I should have anything to do with my friend, then I had to watch his father and not have anything to do with him. And I can have answered: “Yes, I will not stopping being together with my friend”. My mother’s mother can have answered: “Well, you don’t want that you then”. And I said; no. It is as my mother’s mother said: “And then you most stop saying that his father is so kind, because he isn’t that.” I think that I had started to cry. In the years that followed, I never cried again.

It was because of such talk with my mother’s mother, that I afterwards ran to my friend, and talked as I did. My mother’s mother had got me to think that the father of my friend was dangerous for him. I talked about that it was dangerous for my friend, to be together with his father. That he couldn’t be together with his father, because that was so terrible dangerous for him. I think I had became taken up with that I had to save my friend from his terrible dangerous father. But this is as if I didn’t understand anything about it.

I didn’t understand what this was, my mother’s mother hadn’t wanted to give in, and had continued until she had got me to think something like that. At this stage, I had become more and more extremely desperate and confused.

It also is as if my mother’s mother talked something about; that this was she and I, who talked. That she took away others from this conversation. It is as if she had connected me to her, and disconnected me from my parents and others. But I don’t remember anything exact about that.

I also remember a little more about the plate with the picture of “The three he‐goats Bruse that should walk to the mountain summer pasture to make themselves fat.” I remember that my mother’s mother said, that she had seen that plat in the shop, in the small village near to where she lived, and then she wanted to give it to me. This is very dimly.

Because the plate and the bowl my grandparents on my father’s side, gave me the following Christmas, were white; and that they underlined that, it can have been talked about that I only sat and looked at the picture on the plate. And that I only looked at the picture, and couldn’t manage to eat. Then this must has been in 1962, probably in the summer.

It can be that my grandparents on my father’s side, understood that I had to stop using that plate with that picture. The picture was about that the large he‐goat butt the troll down in the river, with the two other he‐coats in the background.

I think that my mother’s mother can have talked both to me, and to my mother, about that plate. But I don’t remember anything about that.

My mother’s mother had a very self‐assured manner about this, in contact with me in 1962. She knew best, about what she didn’t knew anything about. And she wouldn’t give in.

If my mother’s mother had knew about the criminals, then she had talked about how dangerous the criminals are. But she didn’t knew about them.

It is as the kinds of influences I think my mother’s mother can have been influenced by, work in a way, which others don’t understand and find out about. The influenced people themselves don’t understand and find out about it either. It is without doubt something suspicious with how my mother’s mother behaved in some strange ways. I think it is because of the criminals in one way or another. It seems as if the criminals could have influenced her, but I don’t know. If so, that can have been general systematic influences, done a long time before I first met here, but I don’t know.

Such influences get people to do things they never had waned to do by themselves. That is what the influenced people are influenced to not to be able to understand.

When I see all the bad things, which happen in the world, I think that all these bad things, have been thought out in the criminals’ heads.

It is important to start to develop oneself more and more out of these influences, by finding out and understanding about this; instead of developing oneself more and more into the influences, by not understanding about this.

May 13, 2017, David H. Hegg

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🖶 ► 143. Two hours
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🖶 ► 154. In the criminals’ heads

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