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175. A map

The last week, I have been thinking about how this influence against me, is something which has influenced me the whole time, after it was done. Already from the time when I went back to my work, after I woke up because of how a door was slammed, probably five minutes past 10 AM, in the morning Monday, December 29, 1975.

The whole day, every day, all the time afterwards; I have been influenced by the influence, which was done that Monday morning.

I have thought much about how these influences have influenced me in different ways, at different points in time. And also how the influences have worked in gradual ways. But now I have thought about how I also have been influenced all the time, after this was done against me.

What is that constant influence? I think that influence also is different things. I have thought about that one of the constant influences, is that I shall like to be influenced without understanding it. The next after that, is that I shall not know about it, and not understand it. I also think that there are other such constant influences. I think such influences work in different ways all the time. Such influences can also be influences, which shall get me to always be influenced by the influences.

Now I think about that it is a change, when I have started to know what this is. When I know what this is; I think that is an important change of this constant influence, which also is different influences.

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Regarding all the different influences, I now have thought about that it is like, that these different influences, are like points on a map. It is like, that all the influences, are like a map, where the map is how these influences are systemized. The influences are systemized in relation to one another, in relation to time, and in relation to other people and happenings. I think about that all this, is like a kind of a map. It is also possible to call this a scheme, a plan, an overview, etc.

Not to understand about such a map inside oneself, is also a part of this constant influence. This kind of map has been inside myself all the time, but I haven’t known about it.

To know about this, and what it is, is in that way to come out of this constant influence.

September 8, 2017, David H. Hegg