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127. A way

Now I have had another thought in my mind. That is a strong memory, from the room where I was influenced. I laid and listened to what the other people were talking about, when I was thinking.

That thought was: “I must find a way to do something. I must find a way to get others to understand what they are doing. They must not find out about it. These are more than them here in this room. The others in the society don’t know about them.”

I also remember that the person who sat behind the desk in the beginning, said: “This was my idea, not yours. We shouldn’t have done too much. But it was good that we got this done. Now he never will mean what he had begun to mean. The last was too much. Wars of such dimensions are too much for a person like that. Now he lies there and sleeps, merely. He will only be completely ruined. We only have to be attentive to what happens with him in the future.”

I also think that I can have influenced myself to begin to sleep. I remember that I thought: “They are talking about wars. They are doing something terrible. Now I have heard what they have said. Now I must manage to fall asleep, so they don’t find out that I have heard what they have said. (I said to myself,) now you must sleep.”

This situation is something I remember as something dim, which is very indistinct. It has happened, but my memory about it is nearly nothing. It is like a picture that has disappeared from the photographic paper, which it is nearly impossible to see what is left of.

March 14, 2017, David H. Hegg