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70. No one helped me

In 1986, I thought that others would help me, but no one helped me. Especially the doctor, was a person I thought that would help me, but she didn’t help me a single time. It was the same with other people, as it was with the doctor; I thought they would help me, but they didn’t help me. When the doctor talked with others, I thought that she helped me, but instead she ruined for me every time she talked with others. I had been influenced to think that these people around me helped me. That is a decisive factor with it all. This became a typical behavior for all people around me. I thought they helped me, but what they really did, was to ruin for me. I thought that I had helped others so much, so others also could help me, but no one helped me. It also was that I didn’t want to tell anything bad about others. I didn’t want to tell about what could be bad to say about others.

When the criminals influenced me in 1976, they couldn’t influence me to be too bad, so that could turns towards me. But they could influence me to bee too kind, so that could turns towards me instead. This tactic would also be more accepted by people around me, it was easier for others to accept that I was too kind, instead of too bad. Therefore, that tactic was possible to make possible.

I think it is a typical tactic for these criminals, to influence people to overdo, to ruin what is important for people. By influencing people to do too much of something what is important for them, these criminals are able to influence people to ruin what is important for themselves.

For example, when I went on a high school for adults from 1980 to 1982, I involve myself so much in work for hindering the whole school from being closed down, that it ruined my own education. Normally I was busy with this other work, for the school, the most of the school day. And after school, I also worked with this cause the whole evening. This developed in a way that became, that I had to do more and more during these two years. During these two years, I didn’t reach to be done with this. I only reached to get more to do. In this period, I thought that I had to sacrifice my own education, to save the school for all the others. I was a student council member and the student council leader at this school. When I had finished the two years at the school, I achieved to save the school. I organized the other students, so many of them did a lot. But it was even more to do, and that were tings I took care of by myself. I think it all was planned by the criminals.

I think these criminals have influenced me to begin at this school. And then, to talk so much in the classroom, that I became student council. And then to talk so much, that I became the student council leader. Because I did so much, it ruined for me, and for what I otherwise could have achieved. I learned a lot, but I didn’t get my entire certificate for the different school subjects. Therefor my possibility for further education had been ruined. In the beginning I also did too much background work to write my first essay, so my teacher didn’t understand what I wrote about. After that, I started to think that I had to write stupid enough about different things, so my teachers could understand it. I had been prepared to working thoroughly with all my school work and homework.

I started to think about if there was a point in going on a school to be stupid. But I got so much to do with the cause, that I didn’t have time to think more about that. Actually, it was my teacher who got me going to begin with the cause, by talking about that the classrooms were too cold, and that the student government maybe could do something with that. That started up it all, so I got more and more to do. Of course I learned much because for this, but I didn’t get any school certificate about that.

October 12, 2016, David H. Hegg